Kleftnobulism...the Xux's major pursuit in life, is quite simply the study and perfection of being. Not in the moral sense, being good or bad, but more like in the sense of athletic performance...performing the act of being more perfectly each day. This science is done through a series of Martian exercises in being, in which it is possible to measure the quality of existence, like an athlete might monitor his pulse and blood pressure. It matters not what you do (that is an entirely different science we will leave up to the Existentialists, Ethicists, and fundamental religions). It matters not how you do it, or if you do it. It only matters that you BE, but not just like a rock on a beach, which has a Kleftnobulistic Coefficient of almost zero, rather like the planet Jupiter, whose Kleftnobulistic Coefficient is approximately equal to Pi.

For discussion of the Feinbeit Factor, click here!

Intelligent beings can push their coefficients quite high, up into the thousands. The Xux, who is the primo Kleftnobulist, increases his power each year, and by agreement of all Kleftnobulists, represents the highest mark on the scale. But the poor Xux often has his "off" days. The vagaries of life take their toll on his ability to perfect his being, chiefly affecting his concentration, which is crucial.

Some of the ways the Xux be's better concerns the state of his uniqueness. Not that there is any other known Xux...that is insufficient. The Xux must constantly reinvent himself each day, each hour, each nanosecond, if possible. For in each fleeting moment, he must be unique. It matters not whether any of us can detect any such difference; he knows whether he has succeeded or not.

Over the long run, the Xux may even repeat certain patterns of being. As repetition is acceptable in non-plastic arts such as music, indeed often central to those arts, it is most hallowed in Kleftnobulism. Repetition of a really good sequence of being-moves can multiply your Kleftnobulism Coefficient by several orders of magnitude. Then again, deciding to begin a repetition (at the wrong point) can be quite punitive. The cycle can be as short as a few seconds, or as long as a century. No one knows how old the Xux is, or whether his present form is a long-term or short-term proposition. Indeed, though he is as flexible as caramel, no one knows if flexibility will remain, increase, or be discontinued.

In fact, the mystery of being figures into the Kleftnobulistic Equation as a major term. Any object of known origin must subtract several points from their coefficient. But objects of indeterminate origin get much higher scores. The same goes for the course of existence. If the period of existence is relatively short (anti-particle), the score goes way down. George Burns, had he been a practicing Kleftnobulist, would have had a very large score for a human. Not necessarily for the length of life alone, but for the mystery of how it could continue whilst smoking cigars.

A good Kleftnobulist (and the Xux is the best) can actually stockpile being. There is a Universal Bank of Kleftnobulism, in which devotees can save part of their more excellent being, to be drawn upon in the future, when they might not be being so well. One can even take out a loan of being-skill when such is needed. It is even possible to speculate, to provide a form of venture capital, especially if there is a chance to increase the general Kleftnobulistic Coefficient of the Universe.

For contrary to thermodynamics, the Universe is generally increasing in score. Things form, or perhaps it might be better to remark that things change. This is a positive to a Kleftnobulist (but of course, only in certain ways). As entropy increases, the art of being is advanced as new chances to explore new patterns in being are formed. Indeed, the Xux is famous for being able to recite to you the current Kleftnobulistic Coefficient of the entire Universe, at any given moment.

The ability to perform this computation requires a fast brain and unlimited memory, both of which the Xux possesses. This makes him generally wise, and his counsel is sought on many 'Llombic matters having nothing to do with Kleftnobulism at all. The Xux must remain dispassionate in all such matters and questions, which explains why he is so unemotional. He must supress his initial reactions, and then over time consider whether responding to them will increase, or decrease his Kleftnobulistic Coefficient.



Below, we see the Xux in a rare moment, altering his being (we suppose) in a positive way:


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