DIAMONDVILLE- THE WORLD'S ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK

Diamondville logo with Mascot

Welcome to the "other" Happiest Place on Earth, DIAMONDVILLE. We feature over 3 dozen rides and attractions, fine dining, beautiful parks and walkways and Neil shrines. Don't miss our shopping center, Fear of the Marketplace, which features many one-of-a-kind shops. You don't have to be a Diamondhead to love Diamondville! Bring your spouse, your kids, your friends and have the most memorable experience of a lifetime- that is: short of getting that front row ticket and a kiss from the man himself!


Diamondville is comprised of 5 roadways- Neil's "walks of life". Each roadway and associated land tract contains some of the finest rides and attractions in the country! These are: Beautiful Noise Plaza, Brooklyn Roads, Crooked Street, Glory Road and Memphis Streets.

BannerWe feature world-class facilities for your comfort and enjoyment. We have the only restrooms with Neil-motif wallpaper in the world. We also have a plethora of Neil shrines so Neil worshippers can always find a spot to "say a little prayer". Our bulletin board at the Beautiful Noise Plaza provides space for all of Neil's fans to post pictures of their kids, grandkids, dogs who just had puppies, Christmas lights, or post right-wing or left-wing political rants, yammering about sports, pleas for emotional support, theological discussions, and anything and everything under the sun. Neil fans are encouraged to indulge their every whim here, so don't ever feel left out or shut out by the evil "Post Police".

Just outside our park, you will find Fear of the Marketplace, our Neil-themed mall that's open to the public. You don't need an admission ticket to experience a bit of Diamondville! Fear of the Marketplace is the only place where you'll find shops like "The Realm of the Frog King" and "The Feel of Neil". Fear of the Marketplace is the perfect place for Neil's grown-up fans to entertain themselves after-hours. We have a casino and three dance clubs that will keep you delighted and amused all day and all night long.

Also located nearby is the official Diamondville hotel, Holiday Inn Blues.

Free transportation between Fear of the Marketplace, Holiday Inn Blues and Diamondville is provided via our "Diamondville Bus Call Trams".

For a closer look at Diamondville, click on any of our 6 map sections below:

MAP 1MAP 2MAP 3MAP 4MAP 5MAP 6

See our map in full-screen (1024 x 768 resolution recommended)
Diamondville full-screen map

Don't miss out on Diamondville's two after-dark shows:

Coming Soon! "CD, MP3 and Video Pirates of the Caribbean". Watch as Neil's "protectors" at Sony and the RIAA attack and seize illegal cargo from those dastardly CD, MP3 and video pirates! Fourth Amendment? Search Warrant? What's that? No more "Yo ho, Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" Yep, cheer as BIG record companies retain their exclusive right to release the same old stuff, over and over, ad nauseum.


Holiday Inn Blues Hotel
HOLIDAY INN BLUES: This luxury hotel provides all of the modern amenities that Neil's well-heeled fanbase has come to expect. Visit the "Velvet Gloves and Spit Suite", an amazing mock-up of Neil's real 1968 Holiday Inn experience. The room (the bridal suite) has an excellent view of the parking lot (with 2 1967 Plymouth wagons permanently parked there) and endless reruns of old Charlie Chan movies.

Other Happenings at "Holiday Inn Blues"
 

  • Neil Diamond Fan Convention, followed by group attendance to a Neil concert (touring years only)
  • Annual Neil Diamond Birthday Parties (Neil attendance optional, very optional). Also we have smaller anniversary parties for landmark dates like Winter Garden, Hot August Night, Thank You Australia, Tennessee Moon filming; Marjorie, Elyn, Jesse and Micah's birthdays; Neil's signing to Bang, Uni, Columbia; "Neil's first session with Lee Holdridge" Day; and "JLS/Jazz Singer" Movie Premiere Day.
  • "Black Armband Day" Memorial Dinners - to commemorate the "sad" days such as: the day Neil & Babs recorded the YDBMF duet, the day Neil started teaming up with Burt Bacharach, the days Richie Bennett and Dennis St. John left the band.
  • "Neil Diamond Memorabilia Flea Market/Swap Meet"- Similar to a craft show with booths, and an area for fans to take their "stuff" for someone to set a "value" to them. We turn a "blind eye" to bootleggers!
  • Neil Lookalike contests (winners are offered jobs at Diamondville)
  • "Name That Diamond Tune" nightly at the hotel bar
  • "Neil's Hair Through the Ages" gallery- Framed pictures of all of Neil's different hairstyles, from greaser to hippie to mad scientist to the current "matinee idol with a rug" look!
  • "Neil's Museum of Clown Shirts"- See all of Neil's modern-art clown shirts, from 1989-1993!
  • "Museum of Neil's '70s designer jeans and other costumes!"
  • "Sleep With Neil's Sheets" Suite- A special room, where you can pay extra to sleep on Neil's freshly unlaundered sheets! Genuine Neil scent and cigar smoke. Not recommended if you're allergic to smoke.



  • Related Pages:
    Diamondville Theme Park Merchandise


    Disclaimer: DIAMONDVILLE- THE WORLD'S ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK is not affiliated with Neil Diamond, or any official organization representing Neil Diamond. We are not Diamondville: Neil Diamond's band/ touring entourage. We are not the city of Diamondville, Wyoming. And we are not Disneyland.

    Tickets to DIAMONDVILLE- THE WORLD'S ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK are for sale, but bear in mind that the buyer will receive only the physical ticket (i.e. piece of paper with a printed image). Actual admittance to Diamondville and the ability to physically experience the rides and attractions as described is impossible, as Diamondville exists only on the virtual and/or imaginary plane.

    DIAMONDVILLE- The World's Only Neil Diamond Theme Park is joint effort brought to you by the fertile imaginations of:

    Midnight Trisha
    ZMOQ
    Copyright 2003, T. Gerrald and K. F. Louie. May not be reproduced without the written permission of the authors.

    Our founders had said, "Diamondville will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination and Neil Diamond fanaticism in the world".

    Any ideas for new rides and attractions can be sent to us at:

    We are the Diamondville Theme Park! Send us mail!

    Oh, you wanted the OFFICIAL Diamondville page! The one that's all about Neil Diamond's band! Click here instead!

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