Strange Art Projects:
How to Make Your Own Neil Diamond Life-Sized Standup

There was one thing in the movie, "Saving Silverman" that's bound to attract our attention. The Neil memorabilia at the guys' house. Specifically, that life-sized stand up of Neil from Hot August Night. You know which picture, Neil in white, with the acoustic guitar, full length. It's pretty unlikely that it will be mass-manufactured. Sorry, you won't be able to buy life-sized stand ups of Neil to go along with your 6-foot "Stone Cold Steve Austin" and "Darth Vader" standups.

For about 20 bucks, you too can make this dream a reality. I've been around to copy shops, and thanks to color copier technology, it's feasible to make one yourself.

This is what you need:

HAN standupOkay, you start with that "HAN" album. You will need to pull it apart to get that picture of Neil. It will be on a cardboard sheet that is 12" x 24".

Flatten out the middle fold as best as you can.

Cut the Neil picture into 8 pieces, each being 4" by 6". You will need to crop off 4" from the entire left side, but that shouldn't be a problem because Neil is not in that section of the picture. Basically, you are looking at 2 pieces across and 4 pieces down.

Take these 8 pieces to a copy shop. Ask them to enlarge each of your 4" x 6" pieces to fit on an 11" x 17" sheet, in color. The usual price of a color 11" x 17" photocopy is $1.99. Therefore, to get 8 pieces of HAN enlarged, it will cost you $16.00.

Buy an X-acto knife and rubber cement at your local art supplies store.

Crop off any small white borders from you 11" x 17" color enlargements. Then paste them, in proper position, on the large cardboard sheet that you got from the furniture store. The result would be that HAN picture, now about 22" x 68", which is reasonably close to life-sized.

Use the X-acto knife to cut around the edges, and make it a Neil stand-up. Now you can laminate it, or something, to hide the fact that it is a paste-up.

Glue a triangular piece of cardboard to the back, to make it stand on its own.

I did ask about large-format copying (3 feet by 6 feet), but that's very expensive. Since 11" x 17" is a standard sized paper, it's actually cheaper to make 8 of these, instead of one large photocopy.

Now, please someone, DO THIS and send me a few pics!

This article is Copyright 2001, K.F. Louie. May not be reproduced without the written permission of the author.

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